


The mistakes we make

by LawBae



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, I like to hurt them, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Light Angst, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, My First Fanfic, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, self-indulgent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-07-20 11:09:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19991161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LawBae/pseuds/LawBae
Summary: Sometimes one mistake is enough to cause you a lifetime of regret





	1. Chapter 1

Dick knew he fucked up

He knew he fucked up now

The moment he woke up folded on Midnighter's arms was when he knew it

Last night was a mistake, a horrible life altering mistake, but a mistake nonetheless .

He and M were drinking after solving their case. He remembers joking around one second, flirting the other and the next thing he knew they were tearing each other's clothes in his safe house. One flirty comment had escalate into a kiss, a kiss that turned into a touch and that touch was how he ended in this mess

He remembers the sex, oh god does he remembers the sex

He and M kissing, licking, sucking on each other’s bodies, taking turn on well  _ taking  _ each other.

He remembers all that, he wishes he could forget but he remembers.

But after everything was done he remembers the one thing he shouldn’t have forgotten in the first place

He remembers that he has a fucking boyfriend

'’Fuck ’’ He sits the fastest way possible aggravating his hangover and waking up Midnighter in the process

‘’What the hell Grayson?’’ Midnighter asks with a face that was a mix of sleepiness and the after effects of alcohol

‘’Please tell me that poison ivy attacked us last night’’ He knows it’s unlikely but he’s needing an excuse for this

‘’No can do’’ replied Midnighter

‘’Shit’

‘’Okay so when you’re done freaking out you’re welcome join me in the shower’’ with that said M got up and went to the bathroom

He didn’t join him in the shower

After M finished with his shower he and Dick had a talk about why that night was a horrible idea

Midnighter had no idea that Dick even had a boyfriend much less that he used Midnighter to cheat on him. He had thought that Dick was single and looking for a hookup. Even his mind computer didn't see that one coming.

Midnighter has a husband but they have an arrangement that allow them to have sex with other people. Dick was someone that the two of them agreed that they would bang if given chance. He never imagined that Dick was the type to cheat on someone given how dedicated the guy was in his relationships.

He was dead wrong it seems (and he got a bit queasy about that to be honest)

So after some talk they decided to part ways and pretend that the previous night had never happened

After that Dick was completely alone in his safe house, he decides to take a shower

He scrubbed his skin until it turned pink

He felt dirty

Did he even wear a condom last night?

Nope looks like he didn’t

God he hopes that Jason doesn’t want to have sex today

_ Jason _

Now he can feel himself tearing up and decides that he will stop thinking for now and focus on getting clean

Once he finished with his shower he dressed himself on the spare clothes that he had in the closet. He couldn't walk out with his Nightwing uniform in hand so puts it in a gym bag he had laying around. He decides to clean the room of the mess he and M left behind first starting with the bed

He throws away the sheets. Now dirty with sweat and cum it wouldn't have been impossible to clean them, but he has no desire to keep those sheets. They’re too much a reminder of the night before, of the mistake he made.

‘ _ ’Get rid of the evidence so that no one else knows what you did’’ _ a part of his mind whispers making him clench his teeth

When the apartment no longer looks like a hurricane went through it, he walks out of the door with the gym bag in hand

Walking on the city's busy streets with the destiny in mind being the apartment that he lives with his lover. The place that they’ve been living together for the past 2 years

_ Their home _

He finally lets his mind wonder about this situation trying to make sense of it and find a way to make things better.

He cheated on Jason

There’s no way around it, he cheated on his boyfriend, the person he’s been sharing his life with for the past years. The person who's been nothing but a dedicated loving partner, he took all that love and dedication and threw it in the trash. The worst part of it is that none of it was Jason's fault, it was all on Dick

He knows what chain of events lead him to one of the worst decisions of his life

Red Hood had beaten a serial rapist so bad that the man would be lucky if he was ever able of eating without a tube again

This wouldn't have been an issue in their relationship in a normal day, but then Batman happened. The relationship between Bruce and Jason may have improved in the past few years, but it still has issues. Jason won't forgive Bruce for keeping Joker alive and Bruce doesn't know how to show Jason that he cares.

Batman had stuck his nose in the whole rapist situation criticizing Jason's methods. Jason, who's not someone who backs off a fight, strikes back calling Bruce's methods useless and it all escalated from there. Dick, like always, was stuck as the peacemaker between his adoptive dad and boyfriend.

On top of that there has been an increase of dead end cases pilling up on his day job as a police officer. Also plenty of people who deserve to pay for their crimes walking away free of any consequences.

The thing with Midnighter happened when the older man found a lead that took him to Bludhaven. When their case was over they ended up on a rooftop chatting with each other and drinking.

And it was so easy to start flirting with him again, like he always did before he had gotten together with Jason. It all started as something innocent, just old friends spending time with each other, but some comments mixed with the alcohol and it all became much worse

Dick was a flirt and he knew that, even as a Robin he liked to flirt around. One of his best weapons in his arsenal is his charm mixed with his looks, because Dick is aware that he's attractive. It's not hard to miss the way people look at him everywhere he goes.

He likes the playful banters that often comes with flirting, the reactions he got always made it fun. It was part of who he was to flirt around with someone even if he had no intention of pursuing anything more later

Jason was ( _ is  _ a greedy part of his brain insisted) one of the only people he's ever dated that never minded that part of his. Jason only expressed discomfort at Dick's flirting when he had to play the part of the playboy's son at the Galas. Even then he was never mad at Dick for that, because he knew that i was only to keep appearances. He knew that Dick would never betray him like that ( _ hah _ ).

Babs had never liked it when he had to flirt with other people when they were dating. Even Kori, who was a lot more liberal than Babs, still drew the line at that. Shawn had a mile long jealous streak and wouldn't admit anything like that

_ Maybe that's why it happened, maybe i need to be kept on a short leash, like some sort of dog in heat. Otherwise i'll hump the first thing that comes my way _

He shook his head

He’s a flirt, not a cheat. He's faithful to the people he dates. He would never betray anyone he loves like that

_ Evidence points the contrary or maybe you just don't love Jason enough to be faithful to him _

He loves Jason with everything he has

Jason with his fake bravado, his dorky sense of humor, his unexpected nerdiness. His rare sweet smiles that should look out of place on his face but fit in a oh so perfect way. The way he cooks for Dick because ''If i let you you'll only eat cereal''. The way he trusts Dick enough to tell him his worst fears and insecurities and how Dick feels safe enough to do the same.

The way Jason was willing to cut back on the killing until it was almost nonexistent. He was willing to compromise his morals to make their relationship work. Dick didn't even had to ask because Jason knew that if they were going be together he had to do that. Dick also had to compromise, like how promised to turn a blind eye if Jason ever kills The Joker. Or if Jason ever kills outside of Gotham and Bludhaven he's supposed to ignore it. He rarely had to do that during their entire relationship and he's happy for it.

He’s spent the last three years of his life building a future with Jason Todd and loving every second of it

Of course they've had bad days and rough patches, every couple does. But they were always able to work through them together and come back stronger.

_ Better hope you’re able to work through this then _

God he hopes so

Should he even tell Jason?

_ The only people that know it ever happened are you and M and you know that M would never say anything _

He...He didn’t think about that before

The only people that know that he slept with Midnight are he and Midnighter

Jason wouldn’t know unless he told him

_ But doesn’t he have the right to know that you betrayed him? _

Fuck what will he do

He weighed the pros and cons of telling Jason what he did

Pros: Jason may be able to forgive him easier if Dick was the one who came out and said it instead of lying about it.

Cons: Jason would leave him, would never forgive him for betraying his trust like that. It would destroy their relationship, ruin the trust that they build through the years. Destroy Jason's already lacking self-esteem besides crushing his trust in their relationship

The choice was obvious

He would never tell Jason what had happened between him and Midnighter

He would make up it to Jason. He would be a much better boyfriend from now on. He would stop flirting with other people even if it was for Bruce's Galas. He would appreciate what he has because of this one mistake he could lose it

_ Convenient to you, you get to mess around with no consequences and still be able to go home to him. You know that if he discovers it he's going to lose it, so you're going to manipulate his feelings by being nice to him. All this effort so that he doesn't discover you're trash and leaves you even though he should. _

He’s never going to make the same mistake again, he’s going to spend the rest of his life making up to Jason if he has too

He’s kept worse secrets with a lot less to use

With his mind set he got to his apartment, greeting some neighbors on his way up. Once he got to his front door he took a deep breath he entered his apartment

Everything was quiet, Jason must be sleeping. He usually finishes his patrol at 5 am and it was already 7, he must be worried wondering where Dick is

All he wanted was to lie in his bed and cuddle his sweetheart. Maybe if he does that some of the disgust rolling in his gut will finally settle down for a bit and allow him sleep. Dropping his gym bag onto the floor he walked in towards the bedroom

When he got to the there the bed was empty, there were no signs that anyone has laid on it since last night.

As he looked around the apartment he saw that some of the things that belonged to Jason disappeared

Some of the books that Jason left on the nightstand were completely gone

On their was was a note that read '' Saw you and my newest replacement today, hope this one works out for you. Ps: Maybe next time warn a guy that you're replacing him so you don't waste anymore of his time''. Signed with Jason's initials and a smiley face at the end

_ I told you so _

Shut up


	2. Chapter 2

Jason discovered by accident.

He had finished his patrol route and instead of going home he went to one of Dick's safe houses. All he wanted to do was patch himself up before going home. Dick always gets worried if he appears on their apartment all banged up. 

This time he wasn't even hurt that bad. All he had was a cut on his arm that he got from a lucky thug who caught him when he was fighting one of his buddies. Still to avoid any excess stress from his boyfriend he would fix himself up before he went home.

As he got into the safe house through the kitchen's window he saw that it looked it like someone had broken in. It was Dick's least used safe houses because of the distance it had from his usual patrol route. It should look abandoned, but it looked like a hurricane went through it. One of the kitchen's chair was fallen on the ground, some pots too. The couch was a mess and the rug looked like someone had tripped on it one too many times

As he looked around the safe house he heard a noise coming from the bedroom. Already preparing his weapons, he readied himself to fight off a intruder. What he was expecting when he opened the door was some villain or assassin.

  
  


Instead of either of those things he found his boyfriend on the bed with another man, both of them naked as the day they were born with the room smelling like a fucking whore house. There were marks and scratches all over them and none of them looked like they were from fights. There were so many clothes on the floor that it would be impossible for anyone to walk in without stepping on a thing or two. The worst part of the image was that even though they were sleeping they both had matching happy looks on their faces, as if they had all they ever wanted and nothing else mattered

_ As if Jason didn’t matter. _

The more he looked and this scene the more his sadistic brain pointed other things out. Torturing him with the unquestionable knowledge of what his boyfriend has done to him.

Too shocked and numb to react he flees the safe house without taking the bandages the only reason he was there. After what he saw today he those bandages are the last thing on his mind.

Somehow he managed to get to his apartment without breaking down on the way, but once he got home it all came crashing down.

His head filled with with the images of Dick naked in bed with that guy. Doesn't matter how much he wants to repressed that memory it's all he can think about now.

If there's one thing that Jason knows is that Dick Grayson's a flirt, a natural born performer that lives for the attention.. He revels on being in the center of the spotlight and anyone who wants to stand by his side and be his partner has to accept that part of his.

Jason, for the surprise of many people, has never been the jealous type. Jealousy is more of his boyfriend’s thing if he was being honest. If he was the type to get jealous easily he wouldn't have even started dating Dick Grayson in the first place. 

So he knew exactly what he had signed up for when he decided to give Dick Grayson a chance. It would have been impossible not to when he knew how many people loved Dick. The guy had a line of older man all wanting a piece of him for fuck's sake.

But he never thought that Dick would cheat on him like that, out of nowhere. They were not even fighting lately, everything between them has been good for a long time now. So Jason has no idea what he did to deserve this

_ ‘’Liar’’ whispered a voice in his head ‘’You always knew that one day he would get bored of you and find someone else’’ _

Okay so he always knew that Dick would get tired of dealing with his bullshit one day and leave him, but damn does it hurt. When he imagined it happening it was always at the start of the relationship not fucking 3 years in. There were no signs at all, nothing that showed that Dick was losing interest. The other day they were talking about adopting a dog together god damn it.

''So fucking naive'' He laughed at himself for thinking that someone like Dick loved him. God he's so pathetic that it's no wonder that Dick has found someone else already.

‘’Although i want to know how long has this been going on’’ the dam broke he can’t stop asking such things.

_ Who was that guy? How does Dick know him? How long have they been messing around behind his back? Does Dick lov-- _

As if answering those things would do anything other than drive him mad.

He doesn’t know what to do

Dick was (is? Have they broken up yet?  _ Is it sick of him that he doesn't want to do that? _ ) his first relationship.

He was never the most popular kid growing up and while he had crush on Rena it never became anything more than that.

Then he died and after that he was never interested in relationships, too busy with other things to pursue one.

All he had were random hook ups that happened once in a blue moon.

He was always single ok with it, until fucking Dick Grayson decided that he wanted to add him to his list of conquests

Why did he do that?

He thought that they were happy

Yesterday they were exchanging I love you’s like two lovesick teenagers 

Dick was the first person that he ever said ‘’I love you’’ to after he died

Even before he died he only said those words to one person

_ He's laying with his mom on their mattress, she's stocking his hair while humming a tune. She's out of it but when he says ''I love you'' he doesn't imagine the way her eyes lit up. _

Why did he ever uttered those fucking words

_ His cheeks feel wet and his eyes burn _

If he hadn't then he could have pretended that this doesn’t hurt as much as it does.

_ Every time he says it he ends up hurt _

That's the story of his life right here, the moment things start looking up. When he finally feels happy and secure the universe laughs in his face and fucks him over again.

_ Stupid street rat, thinking that you could have a shot at happiness with the golden boy. Serves you right for being so fucking dumb _

_ He can’t breathe _

_ It feels as if someone is holding his head underwater and laughing as he struggles to get oxygen into his lungs _

All their memories together were flashing through his head

Their first date, first kiss, first time having sex, the moment Jason decided he would change for him. All these memories are flashing through his head in no particular order and he can do nothing to stop them.

The way that Dick would look into his eyes and tell him how loved he was.

The way he would hold him his through his nightmares, through the pit madness and the bad days

_ The way he always felt safe in those arms _

Except now he’s imagining Dick looking at that guy with those same loving eyes that were once directed at him. Doing everything that they ever done together with that other guy

_ Touching him, fucking him, getting fucked by him, singing praises to his ears. Covering his back in scratches and his neck in bites, loving him so much it hurts. _

All the things that would lit fire into his blood are now making him sick in the gut

_ he needs to breathe _

_ In, Out, In, Out, In, Out, In, Out…. _

He needs to get out of this apartment

He has no idea where he's going but he knows that he's not going to stay here. He can't look at Dick's face as he lies through his teeth about where he was last night. He can't pretend to not to noticed the bite marks on his body nor the pleased look he gets on his face in the morning after.

He's not going to sit through a break up speech about how ''It's not you, it's me''. Not when he knows exactly where that lying mouth of his was a last night.

_ He can’t do that without losing his last shred of sanity _

He grabs his important stuff: Clothes, gear and some books. He stopped leaving his guns in the apartment knowing how much they bother Dick

‘’Well not like it matters now’’ He thought with a sardonic chuckle that felt hollow even for him

He’s not going not going back to Gotham, he doesn’t want his entire family to know what a pathetic fucking idiot he is.

He doesn't want them to know the only reason he's leaving is because he can't take the thought of Dick with anyone else. That he would have have been happy to live in ignorance of what Dick did. That he's too weak to break up and leave like he has some sort of dignity instead of running away like a coward.

_ How he doesn't even want to leave in the first place _

''One last thing before i go'' He grabbed some a pen and some paper and wrote his goodbyes. After he finished with it he left that note in the nightstand and jumped out of their ( _ only Dick's now _ ) window one last time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope i was able to make Jason's character some justice since this was my first time writing him. 
> 
> For this chapter i actually went through multiple forums on the internet where people relate how they felt like when they discovered they were cheated on since i wanted some realistic portrayal of that in this fandom, since most cheating fics in here are mostly kink fics that don't really show how damaging something like that can be on a person's psych.
> 
> I actually have more planned so stay tuned in for that and feel free to comment and tell me what you think about this fic and where do you think this is going.
> 
> Thank you for reading this you guys

**Author's Note:**

> So this was my first fic, i hope this was not too ooc, i'm planning on doing a second part on Jason's pov so stay tuned in for that..
> 
> Please comment and tell me what you thought about it


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